Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is a volunteer organization that provides remembrance photography for families that have lost a baby. Having someone come and give us the gift of photography when Larson and Emmett were born has meant so much to my family. Being able to include them visually on the walls of our home and in our family photos help us share the story of their lives, that however short, they still blessed us, they still had a purpose, and they were still members of our family.

I started my application to NILMDTS in August 2017, almost one year after Larson and Emmett had been welcomed into heaven. My original submission hadn’t been rejected; they asked for more low light, auxiliary lit images from my portfolio. I don’t have a lot of opportunity to shoot in that specific setting, so I felt discouraged when they asked for more than I had already given. So I let the idea fall to the wayside, which was easy to do, I'm ashamed to admit. I was caring for a 3 year old, my photography business was busy, and then I had a baby, my husband deployed, and we moved. All the stability that I had, vanished. 

Currently trying to reestablish my photography in a new place, I struggled (still struggling,) but MLP's leading lady, Candace, gave us the motherhood memoir project. To capture moms doing their mom thing and this relit my fire and brought the opportunity to do some auxiliary lighting for my application. With willing participants and my additional forced participants, I had these images to now submit to the review committee. 

But I still put it off. I had what they asked for and I ignored it. I didn't want to feel like I missed the mark again, but God had different plans. Sending me little reminders that I needed to do it, until He sent the big reminder. A letter from the organization for monetary donation, but in the upper right hand corner of the letter,

"I'm sorry. We don't have a photographer in your area."

Ok, God. I hear you loud and clear. 

So, I finally did it. Got over my fear of rejection and sent the email with my 5 new images for review. And was told I'd hear back within 2 weeks. 

3 weeks go by...FINALLY, this morning I have an email saying I have been accepted and I can start my training! Not a lot of people knew I was doing this, but I thank those who did and were thinking and praying for me. It was very much appreciated and I now look forward to being able to help the Minot area families in their time of need.